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KADINLAR. ZAVALLI, KÜÇÜK AHLAKSIZ YARATIKLAR!
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CAN OUR SEXUAL FANTASIES COME TRUE?
I have problems to sleep. On one hand, because I suffer from insomnia. On the other hand, because my lovely neighbour has no better idea than turning the music volume up at two every night. And I must admit that I have been fantasizing about killing him…more than once…
I am sure that one day, you have been asked by someone if one of your sexual fantasies came true. Who does not find himself/herself in this situation? Some of you would have answered “yes”, others “no” or “not yet”, and there is a third group which probably said “Yes, but I still have a lot of sexual fantasies that I would like to come true”. Our readers may know what I am talking about. Because all of us, as Human Beings, have sexual fantasies.
What people don’t know is that a sexual fantasy is just that: a sexual fantasy. I am going to explain myself. A sexual fantasy is part of our imagination and is something that can not come true because it belongs to our mind, with its own screenplay, its details, its landscapes, the actors who compose the fantasy and that they are unlikely to appear in our reality as imagined in our sexual fantasies. Sexual fantasies are erotic stories which can be written in books, but not in everyday life. The problem is that people always mix sexual fantasies with sexual desire. When you ask yourself: “What am I able to imagine”, it is your fantasy which will answer. When you ask yourself: “What do I want to do”, your desire will speak automatically.
It is true - why should I deny it? - that it is quite difficult to make the difference between these two concepts because both sexual desire and sexual fantasies are mental representations which appear in our imaginative capacity. Both are inherent in our condition. However, our sexual desire explores our erotic imagination in order to feed finally the sexual “mise-en-scène” intercourse. Our sexual desire studies our values scale and decides if what is desired is appropriate to be put into practice. Nevertheless, sexual fantasy teaches us how far we can go, what the taste of our limits is. Sexual fantasies are the world map of our imagination and are not subjected to any moral principles. Sexual fantasies know that they can do it, because their “play” is not going to be performed. Sexual desire arouses while sexual fantasy proposes to get excited. Therefore, sexual desire is feasible: it has our moral approval and our encouragement. Sexual fantasies are never feasible, if they depend on us, and most of the time, we are not even able to confess them. In order to make a sexual fantasy come true, first of all this fantasy should turn into a desire and, consequently, it would not be a fantasy anymore.
A sexual fantasy for one particular person can be a sexual desire for another. And, following the same process, what can be a sexual fantasy for a person, in a determined moment of her life, can turn into a sexual desire later on. An example: if at fifteen, I have the sexual fantasy of practicing oral sex, at thirty years old, this fantasy has turned into a sexual desire. For some persons, the sexual fantasy of